Over and above the obvious, of being in love, relationships require communication, respect, intimacy and most importantly a private investigator after reading this.
The question to ask is, are modern-day relationships especially marriages, based on trust or convenience? I mean how many people get married for love these days? It is mainly about the wedding, the social media love from your smitten posts of the #bigday (yes we all hate them)— and less we not forget the bling-bling.
According to a report by Ashely Madison, it appears love is lost on new-age couples — as it now does not form part of the basic foundation of a lasting relationship anymore.
Ashley Madison, for those of you who don’t know, is a dating site which helps people cheat.
The report, which is named Love Beyond Lockdown: A Report on Navigating Marriage and Infidelity Through a Pandemic and the New Normal, reflects some rather disturbing figures.
While lockdown regulations are now easing, Ashley Madison sought to discover how married individuals were faring during this unique situation.
Through a series of anonymous member surveys, Ashley Madison set out to learn more about married life during the lockdown. They also wanted to establish why so many married people are choosing to carry out new and existing extramarital affairs while at home with their spouse.
The study addresses several topics, including sex, increased stress, divorce, dating during a pandemic, and the future of marriage and monogamy.
Now, the fact that the site could carry out an extensive survey shows that monogamy is not as popular as many might believe.
We now look at some of the findings, which Ashely Madison discovered in their report:
Finding 1:
The report finds that a lack of sexual initiation is the primary complaint of married individuals during lockdown. Thus, many couples are not having sex and have become less attracted to their spouse. (The old adage of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” rings true.)
With people being stuck at home virtually all-day during lockdown, a person would think married people would be having more sex. Instead, it seems this is not the case.
In fact, the dating site found 58% of married people claimed their spouse has not initiated any sort of sexual intimacy during the lockdown. Apparently, 59% have addressed this, but to no avail.
Unsurprisingly then, 75% of cheaters are having less sex than usual — or no sex at all with their spouse. Looking at the lack of physical action, 25% of participants say this was the hardest part of lockdown (excuse the pun). In fact, 23% of respondents said a lack of sex was actually harder than not seeing friends or family.
Now, while cheating is morally wrong, when unattainable within a marriage, individuals will inevitably find a way around it. Whether it is through spending some time alone, or with someone other than their spouse.
According to the report, 68% of respondents literally took things into their own hands, seeing them masturbating just as much or more often than before the lockdown.
In spite of being confined to their homes with their spouses, 64% of people have been having affairs during the pandemic, as a direct result of the lack of sexual satisfaction at home.
Another scary figure is that 53% of married daters state lockdown has been the most time they’ve ever spent with their spouse. With this in mind, Ashley Madison found that it is clear, their members’ needs are not being met and 76% have essentially given up on reviving their dead bedroom. Therefore, the dating site says it is no wonder that 74% are unlikely to stop having physical affairs even once the pandemic has passed.
Finding two:
A staggering 95% of members were still interested in finding and maintaining outside relationships near the beginning of lockdown.
Additionally, 34% of the cheaters have come to learn having an affair during a pandemic is something to look forward to — horrifyingly, 23% viewed cheating as a great distraction. For 14%, the lockdown means they have someone in a similar situation they can talk to.
Such is the state of affairs, 84% believe infidelity is a reliable form of self-care for those experienced negative emotions during lockdown. With 66% claiming their affairs have improved their overall mood.
Finding three:
The pandemic has not decreased the desire or ability to cheat. In fact, it has fuelled it.
Thanks to modern technology, texting, phone calls, and video chats have replaced most in-person communication with loved ones outside of the home, including secret lovers.
Lockdown has not put an end to affairs, cheaters are merely adapting their current methods while also preparing for future affairs when fewer restrictions are in place.
Though most cheating has gone virtual, many married daters are still meeting their secret partner/s in person.
However, they have introduced new precautions, 56% of the respondents explained they are likely to get creative with socially distanced date ideas. During these dates, 41% of cheaters regularly use hand sanitizer, 36% avoid crowds, and 11% stick to outdoor dates only.
With Ashley Madison’s report showing that cheating partners will find a way to carry out their affairs, one needs to wonder, what has happened to the foundation of marriage? You know that old powerful four-letter, cliche word, which was once the bedrock of successful relationships?
What do you think? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.
Authors: Quinton Boucher and Calvin Swemmer
Edited: Calvin Swemmer
