When you are single or at least one of the priorities on your list when you get out of a relationship, is to drop the weight and slide into those smaller sizes. You cut the carbs, watch empowering YouTube videos and dive into a hardcore gym routine—getting your sweat on and your fat off. But, once you find love and the initial romance settles into a more snuggle-based “we have a favourite show and enjoy chocolate” lifestyle, the kilos start to hunt you down.
However, I believe this is for a great reason and there are lessons to be learned from this—let me explain.
Firstly, there is a difference between eating yourself into an obese, disease-ridden comma, versus putting on some fluff. A healthy life with physical activity is a no-brainer for numerous reasons but since this isn’t a fitness guru spiel, I’ll spare you the lecture. Fluff is that extra little bit of “vleis” that fills your jeans and gives your partner something to grab onto. It is a symbol of contentment and trust in the relationship you are in.
It shows the world that you are happy and more important, your life is not in the fast paced lane of heavy partying and walks of shame.
When you find someone and the connection flourishes beyond just carnal attraction, mind bending lust and inseparable friendship transcending into a profoundly deeper and “magical” thing called love, it’s like the universe is taking you off the market and out of the game by slapping on some poundage. It’s like a badge showing all the fish in the sea that you are no longer splashing around in the singles’ pool. When you think about it, in some weird yet wonderful way, love is safeguarding itself.
Yes, from a scientific perspective, love is merely a chemical response in the brain where dopamine is dancing around and brain activity is pumping. But, for anyone who has experienced this science based response, love appears to be profoundly more than just a bunch of chemicals and hormones getting their hammer time on.
Even old Eintstien denoted that love was some great cosmic force that science could not explain. This extremely rare universal connection that has the power to make even the most stubborn and selfish person change or be better, has become overlooked in today’s “nudes and naughty” social structures.
Snapping a picture of your nether region and sending it to someone, or joining an app to sift through crowds of potential matches, has somewhat distorted the view of intimate human connections. The elegance of romance, complemented by the aristocracy of deep infatuation found only in true love, has become antiquated in today’s world. Don’t get me wrong, naughty and exciting are features of a successful relationship, but without a true connection, these components become cheap and shallow.
We have to remember that infatuation is a true hormone and chemical response but when you have been with someone for 20 years and they continue to be the centre of your universe, that is more than a chemical connection in the hypothalamus.
Additionally, and to paraphrase the 1984 love ballad from Jennifer Rush, The Power of Love, “Sometimes I am frightened. But I’m ready to learn ’bout the power of love”. These words ring true when thinking about how love has driven countless souls throughout history, to find courage or a want to better themselves because of this wonderous connection.
It appears to be a force of nature, like gravity, controlling or propelling human existence, seeing us go way beyond our situation or limitations.
This cosmic force seems to have another defence and that is repelling people who oppose its harmonious existence. How many times have you heard of or experienced a couple that distances themself from certain people? On one hand, you have the in-love couple and on the other a couple of convenience.
The in-love couple will eventually begin to distance themselves from the latter as a couple of convenience has the potential to damage a love filled relationship. They are generally unhappy in their relationship and therefore, are still on the hunt and given half the chance will try and slip in between the in-love duo. These sneaky, sly humans hate seeing love in motion and are therefore compelled to destroy it. Because they don’t have it, they don’t want to see others living it.
Please keep in mind, I’m not talking about those who are 22 and younger. They’re often caught in a tumultuous mix of ego, hormones, and social status.
A profound connection at 20 years old is sharing a joint on a beach with a person you just hooked up with at a local pub.
My focus is on middle-aged individuals and beyond. If you’re in your early twenties, rest assured that both you and your perceptions, especially about love, will undergo significant changes by the time you reach your late thirties. Experience and wrinkles have the power to make people grow up, especially in their understanding of human connection.
As a boundless element over the ages, love continues to collect names and is never deterred by time or challenges. It continues to be the great influencer of the human race.
It has moulded our outlooks, giving us art, music, passion and power. It has ensured that children grow up in great homes and families are created. It brings together the divided and wipes out the wrongs of the past. It is forgiveness personified and passion in action. It is relentless and able to transform even the most evil person.
Love is something to be revered and respected as a whole. In a world where people have sold their minds for political views or given up who they are to fleeting trends, love persists. It survived the dawn of time, the Middle Ages, the Renaissance and Wars. It is the depth and the expansion of who we are. It is the forge and the fire, transforming crude materials into extraordinary creations. Love is the killer of hate and the life of joy. Without this galactic force, humans would be nothing more than blank faces and dull lives trapped in the endless loop of stagnant existence where passion and creativity give way to grey days and gloomy lives.
Where gravity holds everything on earth, love is the force pulling everything together and I truly believe that regardless of your beliefs, culture or geolocation on the planet, it is time to once again uplift this unexplained force and submit to its extraordinary influence.
So as you and your other half sit on the couch, sharing a chocolate and a beautiful moment, know that you form part of something ancient and timeless, something bigger than you and that bit of fluff rolling over the top of pants should make you proud, as it shows your commitment to something phenomenal.
